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Disputes between brothers and sisters: 5 tips to better manage them!

by | Nov 18, 2020 | Babysitting tips, Parents, Psychology | 0 comments

Let's get it out in the open so we don't have to worry about it: bickering is normal! Rivalry and arguments between brothers and sisters are part of sibling relationships. They are a way to assert themselves and to differentiate themselves. According to some specialists, these behaviors are even essential to the proper psychological development of the child. But this is obviously not a reason to let them fight! When arguments become frequent, it can indeed make things worse and lead to more serious situations.

So what can be done to make the arguments less frequent so that you don't have to intervene every time? 

To enlighten you, Kidlee shares with you 5 tips that will definitely help you better manage sibling arguments! 

Keep the children busy with games and activities:

It is well known that boredom is often a source of annoyance, irritability and therefore arguments. Especially, in this period of confinement where children have too much time to spend between 4 walls! In order to avoid arguments and bickering, it is important to keep the children busy with games and activities that encourage sharing, complicity and mutual aid. If you are short of inspiration, there are very good resourcesThe program is rich in content to keep kids busy and support their development. So, instead of being difficult, children will have fun together while learning new things!

Diversion to calm sibling disputes:

Just like for the whimsThere's nothing like distracting a child to calm him or her down and move on. You can give each child a different task. One can put the toys away with Daddy, while the other sets the table with Mommy, for example. You'll be surprised how quickly the child will forget about the bickering and get on with the new task. 

Intervene when necessary: 

There are generally three levels of conflict in children: bickering, arguing and violent conflict. The behaviour to adopt in these situations differs from one case to another. But it is important to know that you do not have to intervene every time.  

In the event that your intervention is necessary, there are two key things to keep in mind: neutrality and remaining calm.

In the event of an argument, it is important to remain neutral and not take sides so that neither child feels frustrated. Keeping calm by acting as a mediator is also a very important behavior to adopt in order not to aggravate things by adding extra stress. 

Stop the disputes between brothers and sisters and make room for peace

Handling bickering: 

These little spats are usually mild and temporary. It is therefore not necessary to intervene. It is preferable to let the children manage and resolve their conflict among themselves in order to find a solution and a common ground. This will allow them to learn to be more autonomous, responsible and able to find solutions without any outside help. 

Sibling disputes: 

When children can't agree, it means the argument is longer and deeper than a simple bickering match. So it's up to you to help find a solution by acting as a mediator. 

First, stop the argument by describing the situation: ''I see that you don't agree....''. Then ask each person to tell what happened. This should be done in turn and without the other person being cut off. 

After identifying the problem, summarize the situation in your own words and then encourage the children to find a solution that works for everyone. Try to suggest solutions and support this by emphasizing your confidence in them and their thinking skills. You can then empower the children by letting them handle the situation calmly and more thoughtfully. 

Violent conflict: 

When an argument turns violent, it's important to remind people of the rules. It is important to state that it is forbidden to act badly or to hurt each other. 

Then ask the children to calm down or let off steam, each in his or her own space before settling down to talk about it and find a solution together. They can go and talk with their cuddly toy or do a soothing and expressive activity like drawing. 

Once the people involved have calmed down, bring them together and explain how things are going: 

'' we will think about it in order to find a solution that relieves everyone. But before that, each of us will tell me what happened. Don't forget that we must not interrupt each other's speech. ''  

Then listen to everyone's version without interruption and feel free to note everyone's feelings. 

Ask the children to suggest solutions. Once this is done, discard the suggestions that are not feasible and keep the ones that work for everyone. 

To find final agreement, help the children choose the solution that works for them by letting them know that you will be watching closely to see what happens next.

Positivize with good memories 

It's always good to ease tensions after an argument. To do this, be positive by reminding the children of good memories and moments shared together: "you are angry with Juliette but yesterday you had a great time building your house of cards! '' 

Also, don't hesitate to express your contentment when you see them resume their activities and have fun together: "What a joy to see you play in peace and without shouting!

Lead by example to avoid sibling disputes: 

In order for arguments not to become routine, it is important to set an example on a daily basis. Therefore, avoid arguments and bickering between adults in front of the youngest. It is better to talk about it away from the children and between yourselves. This way, the children will not imitate you by reproducing the conflict. Arguments should not be a trivial matter in their eyes. 

What about you? What are your tips for dealing with sibling arguments? Tell us all about it in comments! 

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